Hungry

Do you ever feel so hungry that you feel sick? Or feel so hungry that you don't know what you want to eat until you see it, and then you're like "oh wow, I really want that!!!" Well, that's what happened to me the other night when I went to Bible study at church. We're studying the book of Revelation, and a retired pastor of my church is teaching it. I have been looking forward to the study for awhile, and when I got there didn't know what to expect b/c I'd never heard Ray speak before. Well, as he began to talk, it hit me how much I've missed God. Sure I read my Bible, pray and have Bible studies with friends. But there is something about really really spending time with God and getting to know Him better that just can't be explained unless it's an important part of your personal life. While sitting in church I just really felt at home. I hadn't felt that type of security/safety since I went to field training (boot camp) in college. I loved going to church there b/c it was the one place that no one could yell at us, or tell us what to do. We were with our Heavenly Father, and no one could stop us (ok they could, but you know what I mean). I miss God. I miss feeling His presence and knowing that everything will be okay. It's my own fault that I've felt this way though. I may read my Bible at night, but lately I've been so tired and feeling like things never stop moving that I read a chapter or two, check the box on my mental to do list, and go to sleep. What's that all about??? I'm being lazy! Ray told us before started teaching that he's read the Bible over 50 times! I was amazed and humbled by that! He didn't tell us that to brag, but more as to show that he too is still learning about God and by no means has all the answers despite how many times he's read the Bible. I definitely need to get back on track and read more. Oh God, help me for I am so weak, but you are soo strong!